that what demeans

today something happened that made me feel like wrenching. i will be vague for self protection but someone said something to me that forced me to evaluate what i do and say.

two weeks ago i blogged about hipsters and my new found disdain and past reverence and today i find these thoughts had broader implications. its how your behavior dictates, the power you relinquish and the wounds you are trying to heal.

the thing about recreating scenes from the past is that they never have the right elements, the moment has changed and the universe has shifted. remember that Seinfeld episode were George thought of the perfect thing to say the night after a co-worker insulted him? didn't work did it.

i can look back to the beginning where it started. the chalk outlines of myself, where i fell and what i lost. i see myself. its not the hipsters its not the conversations its the foundations or the lack of it. others are not living these charmed lives where nothing bad happens to them, bad shit happens to everyone, its the foundation that holds up the attitude.

i have a friend, though he doesn't count me as his friend of flickr which hurts my feelings and of course it would cause that is who i am, he never apologies to anyone for anything. he thinks he is the shit and it doesn't matter if he is or isn't because he is the shit because he believes it.

now has his foundation always been strong or did he patch it? i don't know, i just need to get some cement and a trowel.