blogging like there is no tomorrow

my strength of character and resolve at an all time low. i am not rising to the occasion or "bucking up" as advised by a variety of sources. i can say that i use to be different that i felt i could transcend any circumstance but i am not sure that is all together true. when things are bad it seems that all you can remember is now. i have no history, no future, finally i am living in the moment albeit distressful.

i know that this too shall pass but when will it? all things come to an end but will the end be better or worse than the beginning? so many unknowns. decision making has become unbearable because i know that this is go time, when things count. crossroads, destiny i like so many others are living in the seconds that define and impact. i want to make the right moves, i want to do what is best, i want to feel good about what i have done. but my choices are so confining that they don't feel like choices at all. i know, i know buck up.